Having your livelihood unceremoniously
snatched away doesn’t just affect you — it causes sudden lifestyle changes for
everyone in your family. In fact your loved ones are likely experiencing many of
the same emotions you are — not to mention feeling frustrated and powerless to
do anything about the situation. Events like these can either bring a family
closer or tear it apart. Here are some tips to help you and your family cope
with job loss:

Be Open.
It helps to talk about it. Refusing to
acknowledge the elephant in the room only adds to the stress everyone is
feeling. If you have small children, explain to them in simple terms what
happened. Harvard psychologist Gerald Kaplan says people who express their fears
and seek help from others deal with crises more effectively.

Take
Charge of Your Finances.
Attempt to get severance pay and/or file for
unemployment compensation. Then, sit down with your spouse and kids and explain
that the family will temporarily need to live on less. Decide together how to
cut extra expenses.

Have and Share a Reemployment Plan.
Be a
role model for resiliency. Devise a plan for your search; set daily, weekly and
monthly goals. Let your family know what and how you’re doing.

Be
Optimistic.
Be positive, yet realistic when you report your progress and
prospects. Don’t cause unnecessary anxiety by being the prophet of doom — yet
avoid giving false hope just to keep family members from worrying.

Redefine Your Responsibilities.
If your spouse is at work all
day, take on more of his or her domestic chores. But don’t sabotage your search
by taking on more than your fairly adjusted share of responsibilities. Make it
clear that finding a new job is your full-time job.

Set a Routine and
Schedule.
Now that you’re around the house more, know that your presence
may be inconveniencing others and interfering with their routine. Work together
to create a schedule that respects everyone’s space and needs. For example, if
you know your son needs the Web connection to do homework when he comes home
from school, send out e-mails and search job boards before then. Rather than
claim the kitchen or dining room table, find your own private space. Check with
your local unemployment office to see if they have temporary workspace available
– or take advantage of the resources at your town or county
library.

Expect Added Tension.
Be prepared for any unresolved
aspects of your relationships to rise to the surface. For example, if your habit
of leaving dirty dishes in the sink bothered your spouse before, it may trigger
a volcanic response now. Expect an emotional roller coaster and know that this
too will pass. Gain control of your own stress so that you can help your family
deal with theirs.


Take Time for Family
Fun.
Reassure young children with words and hugs. Spend time together
doing fun, inexpensive activities like going for a hike, riding bikes or
visiting a museum. Designate a family fun night where you play board games or
pop popcorn and watch DVDs from the library. Keep the romance alive in your
marriage by serving a special dinner for two with a glass of wine on the patio
or in front of the fireplace once a week. Simple rituals will give you and your
loved ones a much needed boost, no matter how your job search is progressing.

Count Your Blessings.
At the end of each day, think of at
least one thing you are thankful for and share it with your loved ones.
Encourage them to talk about the best parts of their day and what they are
grateful for as well. Nurturing these relationships can help you and your family
emerge from the reemployment experience stronger than ever.

Submitted by:

Marcia S. Chumbley, Director II
Team2Succeed