Now I am not saying we are perfect parents.  Not a chance.  You see, we have our own parenting areas that need attention.  Yelling, however, just isn’t one of them.

When my kids were much younger, I remember one time in particular when I did scream at them.  It wasn’t a little scream.  I didn’t just merely raise my voice.

I… screamed.

Believe me, it wasn’t my finest mommy moment.

We were running late for preschool and I was desperately trying to make up time.  I’m usually a very punctual person, so tardiness sends me into a tizzy.  My kids, however, were not on the same timetable.  (Are they ever?)

Well when I lost it, one of my kids crawled under the kitchen table in fear and the other one broke into tears and ran into their room.

Now running farther behind schedule, my anger intensified and I began to stomp around the house slamming doors and sighing loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

Really?

Unbelievable.

As we finally pulled out of the driveway, the tension in the car was thick.  There was no conversation.  No one was laughing.  There weren’t any joy-filled voices rising up from the back seat.

I was beginning to feel like momma-zilla.

The Holy Spirit gently whispered this verse into my heart:

“Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, and it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)

Gulp.

My shoulders slumped and I started to cry realizing I reacted in the complete opposite spirit.  This wasn’t the kind of mom I wanted to be.  This wasn’t the kind of mom my kids needed.

But then something cool happened.

The Holy Spirit whispered something else into my heart. “Carey… this is the perfect opportunity to teach your kids about saying sorry.”

I pulled over, turned around in my seat, and told my kids how very sorry I was for screaming at them.  I told them how valuable they were to me and how my actions didn’t show that.

I asked them to forgive me.

You know what?  That simple act made a world of difference for my kids.

• Their eyes brightened.
• They began to smile.
• The atmosphere in the car changed.

Sisters, if we are trying to raise Godly kids… we need to teach them the importance of those two powerful words, “I’m sorry.”

They have the ability to make right what our words or actions make wrong.

Not only do we need to ask for forgiveness when we do things or say things to hurt our children, but we need to make sure we align our actions, too.

In other words, we can’t continue with the same hurtful activities and assume just saying sorry makes it all better.

When we apologize to our children for our shortcomings as parents, we are modeling the importance of asking for forgiveness and the importance of giving it. 

We need to train our kids to live out Ephesians 4:32 which says “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

What a set-up for success.

Saying sorry and forgiving each other is a common practice in our home these days.  And believe me, we get lots of practice.

What is it like in your home?

Hire help when possible. Early in my work-at-home career, I asked a successful Realtor® this question, “If you had one piece of advice to give someone who works for herself, what would it be? She was so certain of her answer she didn’t even pause to think. “Never do yourself what you can pay someone else to do,” she responded.

I asked her to explain. “I’m a Realtor®,” she said. “And the best use of my time is listing and selling houses. I hire someone to do everything else I need done.” A graphic designer creates all her mailings for her, and a mailing house applies the postage and sorts the brochures according to postal regulations. An assistant sets up showings and confirms appointments. She focuses on securing listings, working with buyers, and selling properties. And that’s how she has become successful.

As my business has grown, I’ve worked hard to identify what I can outsource—and that’s not easy for someone who has trouble delegating! Since focusing on this concept, I’ve added a freelance web designer, graphic designer, marketer, and virtual assistant to my team. Using their skills, talents and abilities, I’ve been able to meet my workload, expand my business and reduce my stress level. Yes, it costs. But I remember something my father taught me: It takes money to make money. I believe I’m more effective because I’ve added these professionals to my team. Though I couldn’t do it when I first started my business, it’s a tactic to keep in mind as you grow your business.

Enjoy the journey. It’s not easy to work from home. When I start to feel overwhelmed and stressed, I choose to focus my energy on the privilege it is to do work I love with the flexibility I have. This helps reground me. I also remind myself that life is too short to be miserable. I re-pledge to continue being both “mom” and “CEO” only for as long as I enjoy it. When the joy is gone, I know it will be time to do something else. Until then, I’m committed to learning new ways to successfully grow both a family and a business under one roof.

About the Author:
Mary Byers is a professional speaker and the author of Making Work at Home Work: Successfully Growing a Family and a Business Under One Roof. To learn more about starting or accelerating your own entrepreneurial journey, read Mary’s blog at www.makingworkathomework.com.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  -Hebrews 12:11

Like many parents, especially as a busy CWAHM, I struggled to practice the spiritual disciplines in my own life and found it overwhelming at times to instill such habits in my children’s daily lives. But now that my three sons and numerous foster children are grown, I can see the harvest of righteousness that such training produces. It began with a determination to make Deuteronomy 6:5 my guiding scripture in their lives.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

In my upcoming blogs we will look at how to teach our kids to practice different spiritual disciplines, such as study, solitude, confession, fasting starting this week with prayer.

Prayer

Prayer is the starting point for all spiritual disciplines. The disciples, seeing the power in Jesus’ prayer life asked, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11:1). We forget that prayer must be taught and doesn’t just happen for our children.

Here are a few things to think about when you teach your kids to pray.

• Pray beyond the usual times of meals and bedtime. This will teach your children they can communicate with God throughout their day.
• Pray with your children often. My children often tease that someday I will cause a wreck with my spontaneous praying out loud while driving. They learned, however, that they could pray anywhere, anytime. Don’t worry when your toddler or preschooler mimics your words. He will soon find his own expressions toward God.
• Make prayer posters of pictures of people and situations to pray for. Allowing your children to choose what they want to pray about connects them to God in a real way.
• Demonstrate, coax, and encourage, but never force older children to pray. Encourage your child to journal prayers or list the things he wants to talk to God about in his quiet times. My husband left notes, especially for our older children, on the bathroom mirrors encouraging them to pray each morning.
• Ask your children to pray for you in specific ways—situations in your career or a personal struggle, such as anger or impatience. This will help your child feel that his prayers are valued.
• Rejoice and acknowledge when prayers are answered. Keep a family prayer journal, recording your prayers and making note of how God answers—including when he answers in ways we didn’t expect or desire.

Share ways you teach your kids to pray.

About the Author:
Carla Williams, writer, speaker, and mentor has writing credits in curriculum, devotions, articles, and books. She and her husband have been in ministry for over thirty years. Carla now enjoys working closely with her family in the Christian publishing industry. Her website can be found at www.thespiritualmom.com.

So when we find ourselves in a tough situation, my husband and I are very intentional in living our faith out loud and involving our kids as we prayerfully seek God’s will for our family.

This essentially gives our kids a front-row seat to watch Him answer.

• Rather than teach our kids to stress and worry, we teach them to pray.
• Rather than teach them to complain about things being unfair, we teach them to pray.
• Rather than teach Sam and Sara that they must take matters into their own hands, we teach them to pray.

And we remind them of the times they prayed, and God answered.

With my husband recently laid off, we have been praying for God to provide Wayne with a new job.  We thank God for His promise to take care of our needs.  We remind each other about times in the past where God has delivered our family from difficult situations.

We are setting them up to see God work… again.

And sisters… if you are trying to raise Godly kids, then including them in prayer prepares them to see His goodness and provision in all things.

In our current situation, here’s what that looks like.

• We ask for God to “give dad a good job” at mealtime prayers.
• The kids pray for God to take care of our family during nighttime prayers.
• We talk about how excited we are to see God work.
• When we do see Him move, we make sure the kids see it, too.
• We thank God for how he has showed up for our family in the past.

So when the Lord does provide Wayne a job, we will give Him all the glory.  We will comment about how God is good all the time.  We will discuss the power of prayer.

We will make sure the kids see God in it.

Why? Because we want Sam and Sara to live this verse:

“Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks.” (Philippians 4:6)

In a world of change and uncertainty, my children need to learn that God is their only constant provider.

Sisters… yours do, too.

Where can you include your kids in praying for God’s provision, healing, deliverance, or goodness?

Know that when you do, you’re setting them up to see it.

About the Author:
Carey Scott is an inspiration speaker and writer honest about her walk with the Lord stumbles, fumbles and all.  Her passion is to challenge women to be real with themselves, others and God.  You can learn more about her at www.careyscotttalks.com or subscribe and follow her blog Let’s Get Real.  Carey lives in Colorado with her husband and two young kids.

1. “This is boring…” Answer: Pretend you are one of the Irish Tenors and sing “Danny Boy” at the top of your voice while occasionally dabbing your eyes with a Kleenex.”

2. “It’s taking too long to get there…” Answer: Tell the kids, “The people we’re going to visit serve stewed spinach and frozen ox tongue for breakfast and lunch every day. Still want us to step on it?”

3. “I’d rather be back home in my own room…” Answer: Hold up an envelope and tear it in half again and again and say, “You’re absolutely right. I always told your grandparents these tickets to Disneyland were a stupid idea from the very beginning.”

4. “I think we need to stop, I’m feeling sick…” Answer: “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. But don’t worry…look up… I’ve taped a lunch bag on the car ceiling, above each seat.”

5. “She’s sitting on my side of the seat. Tell her to move over…”
Answer: Crawl over the back seat between them and attempt to stand on your head on the floor of the car while flailing your legs in the air shouting, “Danger…danger…Will Smith…intruder detected….danger….”

6. “You promised this would be fun…” Answer: Produce two oxygen masks from the glove compartment, putting one on your husband’s face and the other on your own. Breathe deeply then start laughing hysterically. Keep laughing until you are crying, While you both are still unable to speak scratch out the words, “Laughing Gas” on a piece of paper. Offer to share your masks with the kids.

7. “There’s nothing I like to eat here…” Answer: Bring along some large granola pieces poured into a dog food bag. Pour them out in a dish at the restaurant and start eating with just your mouth. Look up occasionally and bark. When you’re finished say, “Hmmm…you’re right. This tastes so much better. Here, you try some.”

8. “We never have enough money to have any real fun…” Answer: “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” Second Answer: “Actually money does grow on trees, because it’s made out of paper.”

More on: http://www.momlaughs.blogspot.com

I don’t know about you, but every year I dread – and I mean DREAD – tax time. As the appointment with my accountant draws near I lie awake at night worrying about whether or not I’ve messed anything up and what might possibly be coming my way.

I wasn’t always afraid of my accountant, but several years ago, when I was transitioning CWAHM from “hobby” status to “business” status, I got caught offguard when tax time came. I had made quite a bit more income than the previous year, but it had never dawned on me during the year to send more in to the IRS along the way. I sent in to the IRS what the accountant told me to each month and assumed that would take care of it.

That year I left the accountant’s office in tears, nearly hyperventilating, promising myself it would never happen again. We owed several thousand dollars in taxes and I had no idea where it was going to come from.

God provided for us, but it was an incredibly difficult time. And now each year at tax-time I’m reminded of my previous mistakes and I begin terrifying myself about what I may have done wrong this year.

I learned a few tips along the way – maybe they will help you, too:

* If possible, use an accountant. I would have missed a lot of deductions these last few years if it weren’t for mine.
* Keep all business receipts. I have a folder in my filing cabinets specifically for business receipts so that I can simply plop them in there in case they are ever needed.
* Ask your accountant or tax professional exactly what you need to be tracking throughout the year (mileage, utility costs or other things depending on your business) and make sure that you understand how to calculate any monthly or quarterly payments that need to be made to the IRS.

This year was still stressful for me. My appointment with Mr. Accountant was on a Friday and I spent that week alternating between worrying and peace. It felt like every time I gave my worries to the Lord they showed right back up an hour later.

The difference this year is that God had people in place to call me on my attitude. My husband repeatedly reminded me to stop worrying and lay it at God’s feet. Several friends also realized that I was struggling and encouraged me to look not at my mistakes, but at God’s provision over the years.  He has never failed me. Even in the messes I create for myself, God is there and He is faithful.

The day of the tax appointment has come and gone and (praise God!) all was pretty much fine this year.  Going forward, I am committed to focusing on God’s faithfulness instead of my mistakes.

If you struggle with worry – about taxes or anything else – here are some things I’ve learned the hard way over the years. Maybe they will save you from some of the struggle:

Tell someone you’re struggling and ask them to pray with you

*Be honest with your spouse or significant other about what’s bothering you

*Be careful not to take the stress and frustration out on your kids

##

Jill Hart is the founder of Christian Work at Home Moms, CWAHM.com and the co-author of So You Want To Be a Work-At-Home Mom (Beacon Hill Press, 2009). She graduated from Grace University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Development/Family Studies and Bible. Jill has worked from home since 2000 and started her own home-based business to assist other Christians who desire to work from home while maintaining a godly life. Jill is the host of the podcast, Christian Work at Home Moment and co-host of the LIVE internet radio show, The CWAHM Network.

Family Movie Night Interview with Brian Wells [10:44m]: Hide Player | Play in Popup | Download

I had the opportunity this week to talk with Brian Wells, one of the forces behind the Family Movie Night movement on NBC. Brian oversees Creative Development for Flyover Studios LLC, focusing on creating great prime-time television entertainment for families.  After beginning his career in public affairs with Illinois Governor James R. Thompson, Brian spent 9 years working in Brand Management at Procter & Gamble.

In 1996, Brian left P&G to help start Crossroads Church in Cincinnati, which has now grown to over 15,000 weekly attendees. While at Crossroads Brian created and led their work to combat child trafficking and exploitation in South Asia and the U.S.

As Executive Producer, Brian has led the development of Secrets of the Mountain, one of the most watched television movies of 2010 and A Walk In My Shoes, airing December 3^rd on NBC.

* Enter the December Contest on CWAHM for your chance to win a copy of A Walk In My Shoes on DVD! *

Of all the things our teachers teach our children, they do not often touch on the idea of Labor Day history for kids. How much do our children know about this important holiday? If anything, they only know that it is a holiday for workers, but that is the extent of it in most cases.

The designation of Labor Day as a national holiday prior to the turn of the 20th century is historical enough for our children to know about the history of the holiday, and not just that it is a holiday for working class Americans and Canadians. It is an important part of their heritage as Americans to know that the celebration began in 1882 in New York for those working under labor unions. From its conception in 1882 to its later designation into a national holiday in a bill signed by President Grover Cleveland, it has become an important part of our history.

Some confusion may exist concerning the adoption of the first Monday in September as the official Labor Day celebration. Some sources say it’s to differentiate it from the Socialist Labor Day on May 1st, a date that later became May Day, and others indicate that it was chosen because it is halfway between Independence Day and Thanksgiving. Regardless of which version you accept as truth, it is still important to know that Labor Day is not just a holiday to celebrate the unofficial end of summer, nor is its purpose to signify the beginning of autumn and a return to school for our children.

The historical significance lies in the fact that upon its inception, 40 percent of the workforce worked under a labor union, and the holiday was set aside to honor those workers. Currently, about 14 percent of the workforce belongs to a labor union. Although it still holds significance for those older workers and retirees who belong to the labor unions, for most, Labor Day means the unofficial end of summer and a day off from school. Sadly, Labor Day has taken the same road as Memorial Day and is only recognized as important by those who lived in the era that caused its creation.

In future generations, the children will not even know its significance unless we teach them now. Let us not forget the significance of Labor Day and teach our children the struggles their forefathers endured in order to allow the labor force to become one where the average person can earn a decent wage without working 16-20 hours a day six days a week.

About the Author
Nicola always enjoys celebrating Labor Day and the end of summer. Visit her Labor Day site for Labor Day party tips and news, information and views at [http://labor-day.your-holiday.info] All rights reserved. Copyright Your-Holiday.info

Summer time means we’re usually outside more, away from the computer, and getting some sunshine. That can make it difficult to stick with some of the marketing plans that rely heavily on the internet. Not sure what to do to stay active with your marketing while busy enjoying summer with your family? Here are a few low-tech and off-line ways you can get in some business marketing while you’re off to the beach or park.

Write Thank You Notes: Real, old-fashioned pen and paper note cards are still available at your local stores. Pick up a few packages and some stamps. Then write a few while you’re watching your kiddos play outside in the yard. You could send them to your top customers, the ones who’ve been with you the longest, vendors who make it easy to work with them, or even bloggers who you enjoy following online. A hand written thank you note can go a long way towards building a relationship with key clients or those you want to connect with.

Carry Your Business Cards & Let Them Out of Your Purse: Keep your business cards ready so you can hand them out when you meet someone who could use your products or services, or who knows someone who could. Business cards are a very inexpensive marketing tool. I like Overnight Prints. Vista Print is also very popular.

Advertise on Your Taxi: Do you feel like a taxi driver hauling your kids around to all those summer activities? Get a nice decal or magnet to stick on your vehicle and get some extra benefit from all that extra mileage. Check out the options from Vista Print here.

Use Your Products: If you sell a product, keep it with you and use it creatively while you’re out and about. Sell Tupperware? Use it for the kid’s snacks when you go to the park. Sew your own hand bags, diaper bags, clothing, or baby carriers? Make sure you’ve got a nice visible logo and website URL on the item and then wear it proudly while you’re away from home.

Make Targeted Donations: Keeping in mind who your ideal client is, choose things to donate to that reach that client and involve your children. For example, most little league type summer activities are always open to donations of items or sponsorships.

Wear Your Logo: Websites like Cafe Press make it easy to custom design t-shirts, baseball caps and more with your designs. Create one for you or your kids with your logo or an appropriate slogan, quote or funny line and your website URL.

About the Author:

And now, let me give you access to some great free resources for small businesses including 101 Free/Cheap Ways to Market Your Business, 119 Things You Can Outsource, and more at MichelleShaeffer.com

Michelle Shaeffer has been a work at home mom for more than 10 years and loves to share the tips and strategies she’s learned to help other home based business owners balance, manage, and market their businesses.

Are we really that busy? After all, we still seem to find time to spend thirty hours a week in front of a television, and that doesn’t even include other screens we glue ourselves to. But perhaps this is in reaction to how busy we are at other times: we rush and rush and rush, and then when we get home we collapse. Hardly a fulfilling life, is it?

Busyness Distracts

Author Mark Buchanan wrote recently that “busyness causes people to care less about the things they care about.” In other words, when you’re busy, your priorities get distorted. What happens when you’re busy and your daughter wants you to read to her? You get annoyed. What happens when your spouse wants to talk about her mother’s cancer diagnosis? You figure out how to placate her so that you can move on to something more important. What happens when your son wants you to coach Little League, or your daughter wants you to come and see the play she’s in? You get angry, because people are adding to your already full schedule and assuming they can count on you. They don’t understand all the demands you face!

We All Need Reminders of our True Priorities

Every winter our family takes a “time out” from our busyness. We head up to a cabin in the woods with another family with kids of similar ages, and we toboggan, ski, play board games, and chat, all without the benefit of electricity or running water. It’s loads of fun. Trust me.
The only downside for Katie, my 10-year-old, is the outhouse. She’s not into outhouses, and not only because of the smell. There may be spiders there, you see, even if it is twenty below. So I have to accompany her every time she feels the urge.

One particular night this year we entered said building, and as she prepared to do her business we attempted the flashlight handoff. And failed. The flashlight plummeted into the hole.

It so happens that just a few months’ prior to our visit the cabin had been used by many large men who consumed much food. So the hole was, shall we say, full.

And as the flashlight descended, the rest of the outhouse was plunged into total darkness. All we could see was the illuminated pile of you know what.

In retrospect, I wonder if this incident is really a metaphor for the purpose of our yearly visits. It’s to illuminate the huge pile of crap that is filling our lives, so that we can deal with it and move on.

When We’re Not Busy We Really Live

In that cabin with no electricity and no pagers and no computers, we spend time with each other. We talk. We wrestle and tickle. We listen. And we remember why we actually enjoy being a family. It’s bliss.

When I think about my children’s years growing up thus far, one of the enduring memories I have is reading to them. We have devoured the Narnia series, the Little House series, Anne of Green Gables, and Little Women out loud, twice, once for each girl. Huddling under the covers and sharing Anne’s adventures bonded us in a very unique way. And yet how often today, when Katie wants to launch into Jane Austen, do I sigh and wish she would just leave me alone so I could get something important done?

Busyness causes us to care less about the things we care about. If I start to see those I love as intruding on my life, there’s something really wrong. Something in my life is truly stinking, and I better deal with it before I lose what is most precious.

And now I’d like to invite you to use my FREE personal time planners to get your own busy-ness under control–and make sure you’re focusing on your true priorities! I also include kids’ chore sheets, household organization planners, and more!

Sheila Wray Gregoire is the author of four books, including To Love, Honor and Vacuum: When you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother. She blogs at http://tolovehonorandvacuum.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

During the Great Depression, everyone HAD to use their ingenuity to create gifts conveying their heartfelt love. Here’s some ideas to get you thinking now, during the Great Recession. You could even make a couple of these homemade gifts for each person on your list.

1.  Know a child learning Spanish?  Save several sizes of clean tin cans with unique labels in Spanish, with any jagged points bent safely down.  Fill with slightly used pens, sharpened pencils, paintbrushes, markers, and dried flowers. These make great decorative storage for your el esponol student’s desk or dresser top.

2. Write a letter to your child, niece, or nephew telling them how excited you were before they were born, about their upcoming birth. You could even frame the letter, for a gift, showing your anticipated love.

3. Print out your favorite Bible verse as a small poster. Add a label at the bottom that reads, “Mom’s Legacy Bible Verse” or “Dad’s Legacy Bible Verse.” Others, including your children, love to know what’s on your heart and in your head. Share yourself with them at this level and they will cherish your gift.

4. Give a gift of a picture of you and the gift recipient. Write at the bottom of the frame, “You are Loved.” It could be Grandpa/Grandson, Mom/Dad/You, Daughter/Mother, Father/Daughter.

5. “I love you all year long.” Write a letter about the year just ending. Make it twelve paragraphs long for each month. Tell the person just how much they meant to you each month of 2008, including a special memory from each month and a canister of homemade granola (granola takes a long time to eat)!

6. “What I’m going to Change, to Love you More.”  Write a card to those on your list, with something that you intend to change/improve, with God’s help, about yourself, in your life this year. Make it something that will make you an easier person to live with. (Now, that will be a welcomed surprise gift to the recipient, a gift that keeps on giving all year!)

7. Shine everyone’s shoes for Christmas morning. Under the tree, have everyone’s shoes lined up looking brand new. It’s an act of service that will be appreciated.  Or, give another act of service, such as car detailing. “Borrow” someone’s car a day or two before Christmas and detail it for them by hand for a Christmas morning surprise.

8. Give a gift of your professional services. Maybe you are a teacher and could offer to tutor. Maybe you are an accountant and could offer tax services as a gift.  How about a plumber, carpenter, or electrician for some home repair services? Perhaps you are a great writer and could help a family member with an updated resume.
Perhaps, you have nice handwriting and can address envelopes as a gift.

9. Regift books you have already read. Wrapping it up beautifully, adding a small letter, detailing why this book was special to you and why you want to bless them by sharing it.

10. Give each person on your list, a souvenir of your life or heirloom. Give them something of your’s, that they would enjoy having. Clean it up, fix it up, and wrap it up.

About the Author:
For Better For Worse For Keeps Ministries www.bobandcherylmoeller.com. Bob is a TV host, radio personality, author, pastor, married for 30 years to Cheryl, father of 6, and a CWAHD.

“I demand that you love each other as much as I love you.

“And here is how to measure it – the greatest love is shown when a person lays down his life for his friends.

“And you are my friends if you obey me.” John 15: verses 12, 13 and 14 [The Living Bible]

I felt lonely as a child. I was almost five. I had 13 wonderful sisters and brothers to love me and take care of me. I had wonderful, caring parents who loved Jesus. They met all my needs.

I was never alone. I always had playmates in my sisters and brothers. There was always some excitement going on at our place. In fact, the neighbor kids loved to hang out at our place. It was kid friendly. We had a huge front yard and a thirty acre woods in the back.

At times I was still lonely. I wanted to be special and I felt like I was just one kid of fourteen. Now when I look back I realize I probably didn’t get very much alone time with either mom or dad. After all, they were busy caring for a houseful of kids. When I look back as a mom and grandma now, I don’t know how they kept up. I was lucky that my older brothers and sisters were there for me too. But I still had this lonely feeling deep inside.

All of that changed the week before my fifth birthday. My older sister, Clara, was hot on the revival trail. She had been to a Bible camp and she was determined to share Jesus with someone. Lucky for me, she picked me. I still remember exactly how it happened.

Clara told me a story about a boy Ralph, who had a two year old sister. His little sister’s name was Ruthie. That touched my heart. And Ruthie adored Ralph. Wherever Ralph hung out, and she was allowed, there was Ruthie. Fortunately he doted on her too.

One evening, after tucking his little sister into bed upstairs, Ralph was in the kitchen doing his homework. His parents were out and he was babysitting. It was late and he was getting tired.

Suddenly he smelled smoke. Then he saw the fire was coming from upstairs. His first thought was for Ruthie’s safety.

Now you have to remember that when the story was written not everyone had phones; we didn’t. And there was no 911.

Ralph ran up the stairs. He could hear his little sister call, “Walphie! Walphie!” Being only two, she couldn’t say her “r”.

This only spurred Ralph on and with no thought about himself, only thinking about his beloved sister, he crawled through the fire and smoke to Ruthie’s bed. He soothed her with words of assurance, telling her not to be afraid.

“Ralphie is here and I’ll take good care of you” he promised her.

He heard voices in the front yard below the bedroom window. Then he knew the neighbors had seen the fire and called the fire department.

Quickly he wrapped Ruthie in her blanket and dropped her into loving arms below. She was safe. He felt the searing burns on his arms and face. Mustering all his strength, he jumped, but became unconscious before he was caught below.

Ruthie was safe and had no ill effects from the fire. But in the hospital Ralph fought for his life. He died that night. Everyone said how lucky Ruthie was. She would have died but Ralph saved her. He gave his life for her life.

It wasn’t always perfect in our house with big brothers and little sisters. But I knew that any of my big brothers would do the same for me. Even if there were times they teased me or told me to get lost. They must have got tired of me bugging them or whimpering in their ear many times also.

Then my sister Clara told me that that’s exactly what Jesus did. He gave His life for me when He died on the cross for my sins. My sister explained that if I tell God I want to belong to Him, and ask Him to accept me and forgive me of all my sins, because Jesus died for them, I will become God’s child. He will always be with me and when I die I will go to heaven to be with him forever.

Also, Jesus didn’t stay dead like Ralph did. Jesus rose from the dead and met with his disciples. After a number of days He went to heaven. So we can have a relationship with Him as we pray to Him and read His Word, the Bible. I accepted Jesus that night.

Now I wasn’t lonely anymore. Jesus was always with me. I knew He loved me in a very special way. After all, He gave His life for me. I could talk to Him anytime, anywhere. Today I still have this special relationship with Him and belong to Jesus.

Jesus died for everyone in the whole world, including you. The Bible says, “For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that anyone who believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” [John 3:16, The Living Bible]

You can ask Him right now to accept you because Jesus died for you too and He will forgive you of all your sins. When you do, tell someone, like your mom and dad. If you go to Sunday school or a Bible club, tell your leader. He or she can encourage you and help you learn more about your new life in Jesus.

Going deeper for adults:

What more can I add? This applies to adults as well as kids.

Memory verse for this week:

“If you want favor with both God and man, and a reputation for good judgment, then trust the Lord completely; don’t ever trust yourself.”

About the Author:
Want to know more about how God can help you every day? Visit RuthWillms.com and download a sample chapter of my Christian children’s novel, The Lion Tree. Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

• Go to the park. Children of all ages love to go to play at the park. And the best thing is, most communities have at least one! Parks can provide hours of free entertainment, sometimes without much interaction from the adult. Dads may get a group of dads together and have a get together while the kids play (but don’t call it a playgroup!). That way the can socialize and have fun with the children.

• Go to a local sporting event. If your children are older than 4, they will probably enjoy going to a local sporting event with their father. Find out the schedule of the city ball leagues and make a plan. The admission is usually free or fairly inexpensive. Take some cash to buy some popcorn or hot dogs and make an event of it! Not only will it be fun, you are supporting local events. And, since it is cheap, if they get bored, you can leave.

• Play in the hose! What is better on a warm or hot day that playing the water? Get on those bathing suits and go play in the hose. Dads can even do some of the yard work while the child is playing. Or better yet, play in the hose while washing the car. Dads are determined to accomplish their work and sometimes do not have the time to play because they have things to get done. If you incorporate play with the jobs, everyone will have more fun. Just remember, it may take a little longer to get the task done, but the fun you will have will be worth it!

• Go to lunch at a restaurant with a playground. Another activity that does not require much interaction. Have a wonderful fast food lunch together, and then let the children play. As a rule, don’t let them play until they eat. This will allow for time to talk and bond. Then, find a comfortable seat and sit back to watch them play.

• Walk, bike, ride… Take your children on a walk, ride bikes together, or take them for a walk or a ride on a bike, stroller, or wagon. From birth, children love the outdoors. Babies are soothed by the outside sounds, preschoolers love to be active, and older children love the time on an “adventure.” You can start right from your house or travel to a park or bike path. You can walk, ride, or use the stroller. Of course, make sure to bring helmets, water, and sunscreen along.

Using these tips, dads can take the children away to have an exciting adventure and leave mom for a few minutes of quiet time. The children will love it and the dads will too!

About the Author:
Rebekah Kogelschatz is a co-owner of Smart Moms – Smart Business, LLC. You can read more about Smart Moms and working from home resources at www.smartmoms-smartbusiness.com. She also owns a preschool activities site at www.preschool-activities-everyday.com for parents and teachers of preschoolers. Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

A year later our son had begun sleeping much better and, consequently, so was I.

I felt better able to take back the responsibility of bookkeeper of the family. On this particular day when I suggested the transition, my husband hesitated and said, “Just a minute.”

I watched him sit down at the dining room table, grab a calculator and start tapping on the buttons. He would look quietly at the checkbook register, scratch his head, mumble something meant only for his ears, and begin tapping on the various buttons again. After witnessing this disturbing scene for a while, I asked him, “Is there something wrong?”

“Well, the balance doesn’t seem to be coming out right,” he replied.

Remaining calm, I inquired, “When was the last time you balanced it?”

“Balanced it?” he questioned.

With growing concern, I explained, “We get a statement from the bank, with their name in the upper lefthand corner, every month. When was the last time you balanced the checkbook with the monthly bank statement?”

Now seeming to understand what I was talking about, he said, “Oh, those! I never opened them. They’re all in your file labeled Bank Statements.”

With that declaration, I was no longer sitting quietly in the next room. I entered the dining room and stared in amazement at my husband, and I slipped down into one of the nearby chairs. He quickly came around the table and knelt at my feet, his hands clasped together in prayerful pleading, “Tell me what to do. I’ll do anything you want. I’m sorry.”

No longer feeling sympathetic, I demanded, “Go borrow me a calculator with tape…and bring me some chocolate!”

So, why did this shock me to such a degree? First of all, I was astounded (and grateful) we hadn’t bounced any checks for the year. Second, it cemented my thinking that my husband, who typically doesn’t pay attention to detail, is not naturally suited to the day-to-day financial aspect of our lives. Third, something was niggling at the back of my mind, did I have the right to demand actions from my husband? Traditionally, isn’t he supposed to be the one in charge? Isn’t he supposed to be the one who has the final say, who wins out, so to speak, in these circumstances?

Part of the process of melding two lives together is not easy. “The two shall become one” does not mean one individual calls all the shots and has all the control in the relationship. For us, that melding process involves constantly discovering strengths and weaknesses and assigning roles in the marriage accordingly. It really shouldn’t be about whose ideas or actions wins.

My husband is a patient, proficient painter. I have never painted a room in my life. Probably never will. Do I feel bad about that? Not in this lifetime. He’s also good at fixing cars, working on household projects, landscaping, and being a fantastic father to our five children. Likewise, my husband doesn’t feel too badly about me paying the bills and working the budget.

At the time of our Checkbook Incident No. 593, we were in a unique situation because of the stress on us at the time. I had relinquished control in an area that was naturally my strength. I also gave it to him without any guidelines or instructions. If ever allowed, I doubt I would ever be able to paint a wall without explicit instructions in this house. My husband’s lack of attention to handling of the checkbook wasn’t totally on his shoulders. I had a part in it, too.

Life is constantly changing and shifting. We need to be able to adapt and change our roles accordingly.

It took me most of the day, but I did get that year’s entire checkbook register gone over and eventually balanced. I think I was off by $2.38. Previous to this incident, I had always insisted on finding every error—even if only a nickel—but this time, I decided it could have been a whole lot worse, and wrote it off. Of course, my husband offered to pay me the $2.38 difference in cash. I tried to explain to him it just wasn’t the same.

If nothing else, I have learned to be less of a dictator with the checkbook in all this. In the whole scheme of things, did a nickel really matter? I was learning to keep the role of bookkeeper, but I was also changing. I was learning to be compassionate. I guess my husband did win out in this after all.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Sandy McKeown is a contributing author to Laundry Tales to Lighten Your Load, One Year Life Verse Devotional, and Chicken Soup for the Chocolate Lover’s Soul. She is a regular columnist for Christian Work At Home Moms and speaks frequently to audiences, helping them discover today’s difficulties aren’t a life sentence, just a season of life. Sandy can be reached through her website at www.sandymckeown.com.

We were making last-minute preparations when we heard a loud knock at the front door. Another interruption, we thought as we trudged toward the door. When we opened the door, we were greeted by two delivery men from Sears.

“Will you sign for this?” one of the men asked as he shoved a clipboard my way.

“Sure, what is it?”

“A freezer,” he answered.

“We didn’t order a freezer.”

“Someone did,” he said. With that, he and his burly partner pushed past me and wheeled a full-length deep freeze up the steep steps and into our church.

As we studied the invoice, we discovered a sister church had purchased the appliance for us. That’s strange, we thought. They never told us it was coming.

Our minds returned to the Thanksgiving dinner. Within a few hours, the first flakes of snow started coming down. In Minnesota in late November, that can mean anything from a dusting to three-foot snow drifts. On this particular day, it meant the worst. By 4:00 p.m., the flakes had turned into a major-league blizzard. The timing couldn’t have been worse. By that late hour, all the food for our dinner had been prepared—a dozen turkeys, nearly a hundred pounds of mashed potatoes, and scores of piping-hot pies.

But we had no one to eat any of it. All our food and effort was about to go to waste.

That’s when we remembered the gift we had received only hours earlier. We wrapped the food and carried it upstairs to our new storage freezer. One week later we held the postponed dinner and served a hot Thanksgiving meal to a church packed with grateful neighbors and needy friends.

Looking back, we realize we received more than an appliance from a department store that day. We received a postcard from God.

What’s a postcard from God? It’s one of those providential, serendipitous events that appear in our lives, marriage and family—a reminder that God has not forgotten us. For us, it’s like receiving a short note that reads, “Dear Cheryl and Bob, I was thinking of you today. Just thought I’d let you know. Love, Your heavenly Father.”

The ways in which he sends these timely postcards are as unpredictable as they are amazing. The net effect seems always the same: to encourage and strengthen us, often when we need it the most.

POSTSCRIPTS
Piles of unwanted junk mail are delivered daily.  As catalogs, sales brochures, newspapers, and a host of other materials accumulate on our desks, our goal is to dispose of the piles as quickly as possible. In the same way, our lives and schedules can become cluttered with carpools, shopping, taking care of kids, committee meetings, weekly deadlines, and urgent calls to make. Our goal can become simply to get through the day.

In the midst of sorting through such clutter, it’s easy to overlook the simple notes our heavenly Father sends to remind us of his love. When we take the time to sort through “coincidences” of my life, we discover simple but much-needed messages reminding us, “I love you. I haven’t forgotten you.”

Signed, Your God.

About the Authors:
Bob and Cheryl Moeller are marriage conference speakers and authors (as well as columnists for cwahd and cwahd). Learn more at www.marriagevine.com
Cheryl’s latest book is Baby Saves Christmas, written with daughter Melissa,
http://www.currclick.com/product_info.php?products_id=25973&it=1

Benjamin Franklin had very definite opinions about debt, one of my favorites being, “Better to go to bed supperless, than wake up in debt.” What a stark contrast to the attitude many have toward debt today. Instead of something to be avoided, we have embraced credit as a friend—an easy way to bypass shortages of funds. If debt was once such a disgrace, why do we now see debt as a strange sort of blessing rather than a curse?

Part of the problem is our cultural mind-set that debt is normal. It’s as if you are somehow abnormal if you choose to avoid it. We face a fierce pressure to live as “everyone else” does—even if that means spending beyond our incomes. We want the same standard of living as our parents and grandparents, without all the hard work and saving they did to get where they are.

We’ve bought into the lie that says living the good life means having what we want when we want it. The line of thinking goes like this: “If you want to be happy, you have to have stuff. To have stuff, you have to have money. If you don’t have money, you can still have stuff, but you have to have debt.” Debt is seen as a necessary evil.

Do you think you’d have to be on the verge of bankruptcy to be seriously affected by debt? Think again. Debt changes the way we live and the way we relate to our families. Many mothers who would rather stay home with their new babies can’t because they have to go back to work. Couples who say that family time is most important rarely see each other and their kids because they must work long hours to make payments on their debt. Decisions are not made according to what is best for the family but, instead, what is necessary to pay basic expenses plus all the debt too.

Does your family have more consumer debt than you care to admit? How would your life look if you were debt free? What would you do that you can’t do now? Would you spend more time with your family? Volunteer more? Explore career options that never seemed viable before? Likewise, what wouldn’t you do that you must do now? Would being free from financial concerns make it easier to live life the way you truly want to live it?
Unfortunately, Satan can use debt as a noose around your neck. Whether you owe a little or a lot, being in debt causes you to have divided loyalties. How can you truly put your family first when financial obligations dictate when, where, and how much you work? How can you fully pursue God’s will for your life when you are so busy just trying to pay the bills? Like the other forms of clutter, debt takes your attention away from God. Buying on credit keeps you from looking to God for his provision to meet your needs. After all, why wait for God to provide when instant credit and no down payment mean you can provide for yourself right away?

Would you like to make a clean break from the bondage of debt? Using these steps, your family can experience this kind of freedom:

1. Stop sugar-coating debt. You must see debt for what it really is: slavery. Consumer debt is not a necessity. It is not a convenience or a luxury. Debt is a ball and chain that keeps you from living your life the way God wants you want to live it. Get angry about the situation, and use your anger to propel you into action to do something about it.

2. Take responsibility for the problem. Take a serious look at why those debts occurred. Debt is an external symptom of clutter of the heart. Spend time figuring out what is going on inside you that caused the debt in the first place. Was it because your family didn’t trust and wait for God’s provision? Did you try to take the easy way out and use credit instead of saving up for what you needed? Could you have avoided debt by setting aside funds to cover the inevitable emergencies of life? Whatever the underlying reason for the debt, admit any wrongdoing on your part, and ask God to help you deal with that issue.

3. Seek godly counsel. Seek counsel about the best way to deal with your debt. Several Christian organizations (Crown Financial Ministries, Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University) help families use biblical principles to break free from debt. Ask a trusted friend or your pastor to suggest the best resources for guidance and support to work through the steps of debt repayment.

4. Be patient. Just as we don’t gain weight overnight, we don’t sink deeply into debt overnight either. Both situations take time and effort to change. The larger the debt problem, the longer it will take to work through it. But instead of focusing on how long it will take you to repay your debts, focus instead on how wonderful it will feel when you are completely free. Celebrate small victories along the way so you will not get discouraged as you work toward your ultimate goal.

[Excerpt taken from: From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the Inside Out © 2007 by Nancy Twigg, published by Standard Publishing (www.standardpub.com). Used by permission.]

About The Author
Nancy Twigg is an author and speaker who loves inspiring women to live more simply. To learn more about Nancy’s speaking and writing ministry, visit her online at www.keepitsimplesister.com

The truth is most people fail in this business. The steps to failure are easy. That is the bad news. The good news is that in knowing how to fail will give you direction and guidance in knowing then, what you must do to succeed.

Failure in 7 easy steps:

1. No experience. Internet marketing is a profession and just as any other profession, it is learned through experience and education. Think about your medical Doctor, the election who wired your home, the professor at the local university, all of these are professionals who have been educated in their vocation. Successful marketing on the internet is learned through observation, classes or by a mentor who has a proven system.

2. No testing or research. Is there a screaming demand for your product or service?
Successful marketers are continually testing through multiple articles and ads to see if there is a hungry crowd looking for your product. Will your product or service market best through direct advertising or through articles in ezines or by videos on youtube? Have you tested various methods to find the starving crowd?

3. Lack of funds to start a home-based business. Do you have the funds and resources available to see you through to success? A sure fire way to failure is to cut off your primary source of income and leave your job without adequate reserve of funds available to you.

4. No System. Marketing on the internet requires following and using a proven marketing system. Successful marketers use a formula, a system that is tried and proven to achieve success. Without a proven system, failure is certain.

5. No Leadership or personal coach. Just as Michael Phelps had a coach that guided him to win 8 gold medals, Success in marketing requires a personal mentor who is committed to your success. This is very important, not just for you, but as you help those who will follow in your footsteps. You must have a coach/mentor who has walked the path before you. Those following you will ask, ‘how do I succeed?”

6. No detailed plan of action leads to failure. You must be held accountable to your coach and follow a specific daily plan of action. Imagine this. You have the funds and now want to have someone build you dream home. You hire a builder. You have the dream home pictured in your mind. However, without detailed drawings, plans, the builder cannot produce what is in your mind. Your business will succeed when you follow a daily action plan.

7. Not learning the skills along the way. Attending seminars and workshops of successful people and learning the skills of marketing is critical to your success. Can you write an article that will be published and read? Can you produce a video that thousands will watch on youtube? Can you write a creative ad that will draw a swarm of people to your website to purchase your product or service?

Failure is not an option. You will not fail when you find a Mentor who seriously has your best interest at heart. A mentor who will provide coaching and resources without selling you items which will benefit him/her financially. A good mentor will teach you the skills you need for success in an online business.

Walter Seward offers a FREE copy of the legendary Networking recruiting & training ebook where he regularly analyzes & comments on MLM lead generation.

Your child is special. There is no one just like him or like her in the whole world. Did you know that?

I hear that everyone has a twin somewhere. There may be someone who looks a lot like us, but we each have our own DNA and personality. It’s just a little bit of difference that makes us unique. I’m still amazed that of all the people in the world that have come and gone that are and will come, no one is just like my daughter and no one matches my son completely. And it’s their uniqueness that makes them so special.

We all ooh and ah over our newborns and look upon them as pretty special. But it’s when they grow older, and caring for them has taken a toll on us that we are tempted to put them aside a little bit. On days when a strong willed three year old enforces his ‘no’ by throwing your vase at the wall, or a five year old begs you to read ‘The Cat in The Hat’ for the umpteenth time, you may begin to take their specialness for granted.

But this is exactly when they need your unwavering love and affirmation. Good thing God loves us in our trying moments. He lets us know He loves us and He builds us up with His Word: He affirms us.

By affirming our children, we are teaching them how God feels about them. We are making the Bible real to them because the Bible is all about God and His relationship with us and with them.

There are many ways we can affirm or build up our children. I like the five steps of blessing Gary Smalley and John Trent use in their book, The Blessing.

They start with ‘meaningful touch’. Children crave to be touched. Your children yearn to be close to you; to have intimacy with you. As that special adult in their lives you are all-important to them. Holding them and hugging them, conveys to them that you are there for them.

When I was visiting my three year old grandson, Sam, this week, a thunderstorm broke out in the afternoon. He came running to me crying, “Protect me, protect me!” All he wanted was for me to hold him and make him feel safe. I was there in person with him and I would not have let anything hurt him. He knew that. But he needed to feel it.

It’s not only preschoolers who are blessed by your touch. Your kids’ hearts, no matter what age, are warmed by your touch. Touch communicates warmth, personal acceptance, and affirmation. At times my husband just casually puts his hand on our fourteen year old, six foot plus, grandson’s shoulder. Darian never fails to smile and his eyes light up. I’m confident this loving gesture lets Darian know he is unconditionally accepted by his grandpa.

In the Bible we read how Jesus blessed the children. He touched them. He laid His hands on them and took them up in His arms. This gives us an incredible picture of God’s tender love for little ones. He made them. He understood their need to be held, to be hugged. As we show affection to our kids they come to believe that others can love them too; even others, like God.

The second way of affirming your child is by words. Like a self-fulfilling prophesy, your child often becomes what you say he will be. If you put him down and say he will never amount to anything, he will begin to believe it. On the other hand, if you build him up and say amazing things about him he will know he can conquer the world.

We can take an example from God, the Father. When Jesus came up out of the water, after His baptism, His Father’s voice surrounded Him saying, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” God communicated His blessing through His spoken words, even to His Son, Jesus.

The third way is to place high value on your child. Be truthful and realistic with them but be their greatest fans. You can plant seeds in their outlook for life that will help them accomplish the things they really want to. Help them become competent by teaching them life’s skills. The patriarchs in the Old Testament gave their children – especially their oldest sons – a special family blessing. It confirmed to their children that God had a special plan of blessing for their life too. In fact that’s what all their planning was based on.

Bless your children – literally – when you pray with them-at the end of the day or in the morning- say “the Lord bless you.” Your child hears that you are there for them but if you fail, God has them covered. Everything is possible with God; He never fails. He will see them through in the times when human dads and moms fails. They learn that God is concerned with their life and welfare.

Fourthly, picture meaningful goals for your children, giving them not only hope but direction. We can’t predict our children’s future but we can give them a picture of what is out there and how they might fit in.

I loved my grade three teacher, Miss Reidiger. She boarded at our neighbor’s house, so I got to spend time with my teacher. She especially encouraged me in my reading. I was a good reader but when it was my turn to read in class I read way too fast. With her trust and praise I began to want to be like her. My desire to be a teacher just like her was planted in my heart that year. Now I had a purpose in life and all of my courses were geared toward that goal.

Finally, the fifth step to affirm your children is to make an active commitment to them. Help them become the best they can be, starting with a deep relationship with God, the foundation of you children’s lives. Get to know your children personally: their desires, needs, goals, hopes and fears. Then meet them where they are. Build them up where they are weak, praise them in their strengths, and get involved in developing them. It will take sacrifice on your part – a sacrifice of time, of energy and even finances.

Your children need you to affirm them. Your affirmation of them, blessing them, will profoundly impact them forever. The interaction with you will influence not only their self-image, their current relationships, and future relationships, but that all important relationship with God.

About the Author:

Ruth Willms is a Christian author and educator who teaches parents how to make Jesus part of their kids’ lives, everyday. If you found this article helpful, you can subscribe to her monthly newsletter at http://www.RuthWillms.com and discover more ways to make God’s love real to your kids.

We each react differently when adversities confront us. Some run and hide, others hum and whistle and, trying to ignore the situation, others pretend that it’s not really there. The fact is that adversity is real and it can adversely affect our lives and the lives of others around us. Solomon tells us to stand up and face the problem head on.

Proverbs 28:1 (NKJV) “The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion.” Solomon uses the term ‘wicked’ to describe anyone who does not prescribe to seeking wise counsel or the belief in and worship of Almighty God. He is telling us that the ‘wicked’ always attempt to run away from adversity. They run away even though no one is pursuing them. The ‘righteous’, those who are in ‘right’ standing with the Creator, fortified by their beliefs and worshipful practices, face their problems with the courage and determination of the king of the jungle, a lion.

In Proverbs 24:10 (NKJV) Solomon tells us “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.” When adversity rears its head it is not the time to cower or flee. It is the time to be bold. To be bold and persevere is the key to lasting success in life. Read

Proverbs 24:16 (NKJV) “For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity.” We need not to concentrate on falling down but on getting up. To ‘rise again’ is an extremely important concept, especially for the successful Christian.

When we concentrate on the positive aspects of adversity, we see that there are two very important benefits that we gain through adversity. As a matter of fact, through the school of adversity, we learn these lessons well. The first benefit that we need to consider is that through adversity we learn patience, we develop our strength and our courage to face subsequent adversities, we develop our sense of compassion and kindness towards others, and our love, our humility and our faith grow by leaps and bounds.

The second important benefit of adversity is that it helps us to become much more valuable to others. Everyone is going to encounter adversity at some point and the first person that they seek is someone who has already experienced adversities and overcome them. You become the wise counsel that others seek.

This would be a good place to review several very important points in our study of the effective resolution of conflicts. I have broken these down into a quick list of do’s and don’ts.

First lets list the don’ts.

1.) Do not ignore or avoid facing a conflict. Denial is not the answer, although it is the most used temporary remedy. Conflicts or adversities and the hurt that they cause will grow inside of you. They will fester and canker and do more deadly harm to your spirit and body than you can ever imagine. You could say that conflicts that have been internalized and not face head on are the causes of the majority of ‘psychological’ problems among human beings. Look at the word ‘psychological’. It is the combination of two Greek root words – ‘psyche’ which is translated ‘soul’ and ‘logia’ which means the ‘study of.’ It is safe to say that psychological problems are ‘soul’ problems. Don’t bury your problems or the pain that they cause.

2.) Don’t let a conflict turn into a personal attack. Focus on the problem causing the conflict instead of diverting the attention to the shortcoming or character weaknesses of the other party. If your intent is to solve the problem, you must concentrate on the causes of that problem.

3.) Keeping within the spirit of the previous statement, do not resort to calling each other names or making seriously inflammatory remarks simply to get a negative reaction. When these tactics are used in an argument, the root problem becomes obscured and the focus is place on defending ones honor.

4.) Nobody likes an arrogant know-it-all. When you enter a conflict with that attitude, a wall of resentment and negativity has been constructed and nothing good will happen. When engaged in a conflict, approach it as though there is a great lesson for you to learn. Approach the conflict with a humble spirit. For one thing, this will definitely confuse your opponent because he will not expect that at all. This is very difficult to do for a person of ‘position’, such as a boss or manager.

5.) In an argument you will be tempted to bring up other issues. Do not let this happen. Keep the focus on the problem at hand and the best way to resolve it.

6.) Never try to back you opponent into a corner. Remember this is not a ‘prize fight’ and the only good thing that can come out of this is the equitable resolution to the problem. Do not us threats and ultimatums.

7.) Try to refrain from demeaning gestures or body language. It is tempting to roll your eyes or use an exasperated sigh or slap you forehead with the palm of your hand. This will only add fuel to the fire.

8.) It is human nature to interrupt an opponent when he is saying something with which you disagree. Do not interrupt him. Let him have his say and then you can also demand to have your time to speak.

9.) No matter how tempting it is just to turn and walk away, do not. As Solomon tells us, face your adversity. This can also be the same as hanging up when you are called on the phone with an argument.

It is best to finish this study on a positive note. Let’s look at the list of positives that should be considered when you are faced with a conflict.

1.) Whenever you are faced with what you perceive to be a confrontation, take a few minutes to calm your emotional state. It is best to cool off before engaging in a conflict.

2.) When you know that you are headed for a confrontation, you need to decide what outcome you expect. If your motivation is to correct someone, plan for the best possible outcome. Consider the reactions of the other person and how you can best resolve the problem at hand. Go into the conflict armed with a good solid plan devoid of emotional stress.

3.) You goal should never be to tear down the character of another person. If that is your goal, you need to do some soul searching to discover why you think that would ever be an option. Use as many positive statements as possible; even praise the other person’s abilities. Fins positives to counteract the negatives.

4.) If you expect the problem to be resolved immediately and easily, that is great. However, that is not the usual case. Be willing to accept a progressive plan of resolution. Be willing to work with the problem for as long as it takes to find the most equitable solution.

5.) Seek wise counsel. When you know that there is a conflict ensuing, seek out the advice of others who have gone through similar situations and be willing to consider their advice.

6.) Often we are blindsided by an attack. If this is the case, listen to what your attacker is saying. Instead of retaliation, ask him if there is any other cause for his anger or concern. Let him tell you everything that is on his mind. No matter what is said, remain calm. You just may learn something.

7.) Whenever possible reassure the person that you are willing to discuss whatever is on his mind. Show that you are committed to the relationship and want to find a way to resolve whatever seems to be the problem in order to enhance the relationship.

8.) Forgive. No matter what the other person says, forgive him immediately. Christ was slandered, spat upon, hit, beaten, verbally abused whipped and hung on a cross. He immediately forgave those responsible.

If we consider that conflicts can be used as a tool to strengthen us, we will find it easier to look for an effective resolution. This takes a great deal of self-control (patience). Self-control or patience is not a natural state of being for humans. It is however one of the traits that is listed as the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22 (NASB)

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,”

Article by Robert Keating

Insight #1 – Our true purpose for engaging in conflict is a positive purpose – to ensure that the best possible resolution is found that will benefit everyone concerned. If the purpose were to simply hurt the other individual, the best thing is to stop the conflict immediately, just walk away.

Insight #2 – “Every purposed is established by counsel” Proverbs 20:18. Solomon wants us to know that it is very difficult to establish our purpose for a conflict or confrontation without first seeking wise counsel. If we are truly concerned with finding an equitable resolution to a conflict or confrontation, get a second and third opinion before proceeding. Often you’ll find that there is no equitable resolution. Just walk away.

Insight #3 – In Proverbs 18:19 Solomon tells us that an offended brother is harder to win over than a strong city. It is natural for our self-defense shield to surround us when we are hurt or offended. It is also a natural inclination to forever avoid the offending party. We must first of all take the time to weigh the consequences of our action. This is why we are constantly reminded to seek wise counsel in everything that we do. Others, wiser and more objective, may be able to point out the consequences that we do not at first realize until it is too late.

It is always best to plan what you have to say and consider the consequences. Weigh your perceived consequences and the opinions of your wise counsel to determine whether the confrontation is worth the time and trouble. Will there be a good resolution for everyone concerned? Often I have seen feuding family members avoid each other for years. Sometimes, after several years, they do not remember what started the whole situation. Before engaging, seek wise counsel.

Insight #4 – Often, out of the blue we can be bushwhacked attacked verbally because of something perceived by another as unfair or unfounded. Usually these attacked are immature and foolish. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 26:4 (NKJV) “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him.” When we react, without consideration of the consequences, to the angry words of an opponent, we lower ourselves to his childish level. Solomon continues by giving us something to think about in Proverbs 26:5 (NKJV) “Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.” When we take a moment to consider what the attacker said and we answer his accusation and not him personally, we take away the possibility of him assuming that what he said was wise.

Proverbs 18:12 (NKJV) “Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, and before honor is humility.” When we take the opportunity to consider the consequences of our answer to a verbal attack, we can often take a position of humility, which is a more honorable position to assume.

Insight #5 – It takes a strong character to quiet his emotional reaction to the verbal assault of another. It requires self-control and patience. Our first impulse is to retaliate or counterattack using whatever we have to offend our offender. Some may even resort to revealing something secret that might be hurtful to the other. This will serve only one purpose. It will destroy the hope of a good resolution or your good reputation. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 25:9-10 (NLT) ” When arguing with your neighbor, don’t betray another person’s secret. Others may accuse you of gossip, and you will never regain your good reputation.” If you are privy to confidential information, keep that confidence, even if you feel that it might strengthen your argument.

We should seriously consider what Solomon tells us in Proverbs 15:26 (NKJV) “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.” As successful people, diligent students of God’s Wisdom, we need to take time to study all aspects of the situation before we answer. If we give in to our worldly nature, we will do nothing but harm to ourselves and to others.

Insight #6 Do not feed the fury. Arguments, conflicts and adversities escalate when each party involved adds fuel to the fire. We learn in Proverbs 26:20 (NKJV) “Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.” Often an argument or conflict can be resolved, without bloodshed, by simply answering softly, without anger or malice. Remember Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV) “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Insight #7 – There is an absolutely excellent way to sooth an angry person. Often an apology is the greatest gift that anyone can expect. If you know you are wrong, be the better person, save the friendship or partnership or marriage by simply apologizing. If you know that you are right, apologize anyway. The opponent will know that you are simply offering a way out. This is a great way to defuse a situation and offers you the opportunity, at a later time and after diligent study of the situation, to approach the issue in a calmer atmosphere. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 21:14 (NKJV) “A gift in secret pacifies anger, and a bribe behind the back, strong wrath.”

Insight #8 – Forgive

We are well aware of the most magnificent gift that has ever been given. That gift is the sacrifice that Christ made for us in order to forgive us for our sin debt. He went where he didn’t deserve to go and did what he did not have to do, and all for our sakes. If we could simply take His example in our own affairs, we could accelerate our journey to success.

It doesn’t matter what we have done in our lives, how horrible our offenses against God and humanity; Christ is willing to forgive us, totally. Can we say that the offenses that we have suffered at the hands of others are worse that those suffered by Christ? Do our feelings matter more than Christ’s? Can we pick and choose who we will forgive and who we will judge? Are we to put ourselves above Christ?

Solomon tells us in Proverbs 10:12 (NKJV) “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins.” If we would simply let that love in our hearts, which is Christ, rule our hearts, minds and souls, we would never open ourselves to argument. We would be able to forgive every offense. Understand that, no matter what has been done to you, when you forgive that person, you are not condoning their action; you are releasing yourself from the bondage of their actions.

Article by Robert Keating

I watched a goldsmith take a small pot filled with what looked to me like dirt and small rocks. He told me that this was gold ore. To me it didn’t look like the gold that I was accustomed to seeing. It was in its natural state, filled with impurities. He proceeded to put the ceramic looking pot over a small blast furnace and turned up the heat. As the mixture melted, the impurities burned away leaving only the molten gold behind.

The goldsmith told me that at this point it was critical to keep a close eye on the molten gold. If left in the extreme heat too long, the gold would also burn up. I asked him how he knew when the mixture was ready. He told me something very profound. He told me that he looks at the top of the molten gold and when he could see his reflection in it, it was finished.

From this Proverb we can see that Solomon wants us to realize that we too are like the gold ore or silver ore. In our natural state there are layers and layers of impurities. God will allow adversities and conflicts, trial and tribulations in our lives to provide the necessary heat to burn away the impurities leaving the beautiful and very valuable character that He wants for us. He knows when we are ready to use when He can see His reflection in us.

One of the impurities that God wants to ‘burn’ out of us is our natural self-centered point of view. This egocentric point of view is the cause of much contention in our lives and so often the substance that fuels a heated exchange. It is our nature to want to convince our opponent that our point of view is the correct one. We feel that the only way to win and argument is to convince our opponent that we are right, for them to agree with us and to do what we want them to do. Usually, with two egocentric individuals, there is no winner. The true definition of winning is to achieve the very best possible outcome.

All of the principles or keys that Solomon gives us in his Proverbs (as well as his other writing) are essential for our path to success. You may wonder why at this point we are discussing the resolution of conflicts. You will find that, no matter what your goal is, business or personal, there will always arise an opposing opinion. Here we will abandon the idea that winning is ‘getting my way’ or convincing someone that I am right. The skills that we are going to discuss are key factors in our winning the situation (attaining the result that is best for all.)

We can categorize conflicts as hurtful or informative. When we are engaged in a conflict, whether we started it or are simply responding to something that someone else started. Keep your eyes and ears open. The moment that you suspect that the situation is degenerating into nothing more than attempting to injure your opponent or him injuring you, you must force yourself to control your thoughts and words. You must change the focus to achieving the best possible outcome for everyone involved.

Let’s take a look at 5 situations that spawn conflicts and adversities.

* One of the surest ways of getting into a conflict is when we meddle in the business of others. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 26:17 (NKJV) “He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears.” It is natural try to help others when they are engaged in an argument. Each, however, will try to get you to agree with him. If you take sides, as Solomon points out, you are the one who will be bitten. It is good to help mediate but it is best when both parties come to you for wise counsel.

* Most arguments are not planned affairs. They happen on impulse. Solomon gives us good advice in Proverbs 25:8 (The Amplified Bible) “Rush not forth soon to quarrel [before magistrates or elsewhere], lest you know not what to do in the end when your neighbor has put you to shame.” When you see this happening, take Solomon’s advice and just don’t do it.

* Harsh words are generally a good way to ‘push someone’s buttons’ and usually the best way to start an argument or escalate one. Proverbs 15:1 (NLT) “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”

* Anger is an excellent fuel for an argument. Often a person who is angry because of a totally unrelated issue will begin or react to an argument. Proverbs 15:18 (NKJV) “A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays contention.” Too often is the case that someone who is angry with another at work will bring his temper home and begin arguing with his or her spouse or children and vice versa. I have seen the results of someone who has had an argument with his wife bring the same attitude to work. It’s not a pretty site.

* When you are confronted with a situation that could be construed as an argument or conflict, ask yourself what is the instigating factor. More often than not the situation will usually arise because of pride or arrogance. Is your involvement in the argument motivated by your pride or an attack on your ego? If it is, and Solomon says that it’s the Number 1 cause (Pride), you need to talk it over with someone before you engage your opponent. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 13:10 (The Amplified Bible) “By pride and insolence comes only contention, but with the well-advised is skillful and godly Wisdom.”

Conflicts and arguments have very few good results. When we see that Solomon considers this to be foolishness, we can understand that these situations can be avoided and should be. There is nothing wrong with a lively discussion or debate. You usually take time to prepare for these. In that preparation it is always wise to seek wise counsel.

It is also very important for the successful Christian (diligent student of God’s Word) to be adept at mediating. Preventing arguments and conflicts from escalating into an all out war is a necessary skill for anyone who is seeking success. You’ll find that this skill will be very handy in helping you on the road to success. Becoming a conflict resolver build trust in others and elevates your position in the eyes and hearts of others.

Article by Robert Keating

In Proverbs 18:19 (NKJV) tells us that “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.”

Conflicts, disagreements or arguments, contentions, adversities, trials and tribulations are all part of daily life. Jesus told us that men would hate us because of Him. The fact is that the confusion that conflicts and adversities cause is a test of our Christian fortitude. How we handle them is determined by how well we are able to use the principles that we learn from God’s Holy Book of Wisdom.

That is a bold statement but it is true. Using the principles given us by Solomon in his Proverbs can determine the success or failure of handling conflicts in business and in our homes. If you use Solomon’s principles every conflict can be handled. Without the benefit of the knowledge and wisdom given us in Solomon’s principles, we are headed for more difficulty than we want. Conflicts and adversities can be handle without Solomon’s principles but it is a difficult and often frustrating option to take, more than not, ending in failure. Going it on your own without the benefit of Solomon’s principles will usually end in a great deal of stress and tension, both at work and at home. Often problems at home will bleed into our professional life and vice versa.

A good question for each of us to ask is ‘who wins?’ when there is a conflict. Take a look at the conflicts that you have had in your life. Who walked away from that conflict feeling good? I am confident is saying that no one won the battle, but there were probably many victims left injured.

This may sound strange to many but, depending on how we react, conflicts can bring opportunities. The immediate result may not seem as though it is a blessing but often, later, the resolution to that conflict may reveal an even better solution than first imagined.

Never forget that God’s Word tells us that God can take a bad situation and can create something wonderful from it. He can take a situation where there seems to be no way out and show us a better way.

1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (New King James Version)

“12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. 13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

There are two basic types of conflict that we need to look at. We initiate or contribute to one type of conflict and someone or something that is not in our control initiates the second. There is seldom a conflict, either under our control or not, that does not result in wounded egos and often physical wounds.

It is human nature to defend our point of view and ourselves. Often, however, our defense goes out of control and becomes offensive. One person attacks and the other counterattacks trying to inflict as many wounds as possible. This usually spins out of the control of either party. Solomon tells us that at this point the argument becomes foolishness, which benefits no one.

It is important in any argument, whether started by us or not, to realize the point of the argument. Often we can avoid the severe exchange of hurtful accusations and epithets by simply softening our tone. Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV) “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” is the perfect explanation for this. Sometimes a simple soft or gentle answer can abate an argument.

On the other hand, sometimes a heated exchange of points of view can be healthy if it is controlled and not allowed to degenerate into insult slinging. In Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Solomon is teaching us this type of exchange. Have you ever seen a chef sharpen his knife with sharpening steel? The friction of the ‘steel against steel’ or ‘iron against iron’ cause the honing of the knife to make it sharp. When we control the exchange of conflicting points of view, we can discover a better solution.

Article by Robert Keating

My father was a First Sergeant in the Marine Corps, serving in the Vietnam War. He came home with wounds and purple hearts to show for it.

I was born during that time in November of 1967. He was there a few days after I was born but had to return to Vietnam shortly after. He may have come home another time when I was very little, but I don’t remember. I remember seeing him for the first time when I was about five years old.

I still remember the day he came home from the war. My mother, brothers and I were standing right outside on the blacktop where the planes landed, waiting anxiously for him to walk out.

Suddenly, a handsome young man dressed in a beige Marine uniform with medals swarming the side of his chest and wearing a sharp hat to match started walking toward us. I remember my mother bending down beside me, whispering in my ear saying, “That’s your father.” Without any hesitation I remember running up to him as fast as I could, opening up my arms and jumping right into his chest. He caught me in the air, hugging me tight, swinging me around laughing with the biggest smile I ever saw.

At that moment in time it didn’t matter that I didn’t know him; all I knew was he was my father and I loved him and he obviously loved me back. It was the beginning of a new relationship and I couldn’t wait to get started.

Our relationship never changed from that day. I was daddy’s little girl (and only girl) so I can honestly say I was indeed spoiled and my three brothers, Jaffa, John, and James can all testify to that fact, but they were okay with it being that I was a “girl” and all.

There’s something special about a father’s love that makes us feel secure, protected and grounded in who we are. Perhaps it’s because of their strong stature, their demeanor, or the fact that we know they go to work day in and day out to support the family, whether they feel like it or not. It’s not a conscious thought on our part, it’s just a sense of comfort and security knowing they are there.

There’s a quote by Billy Graham, a well-known Christian Evangelist who said, “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.”

I agree with Billy Graham; fathers do so much, they mean so much and are valuable in our society, but are not given the praise and appreciation they deserve. I pray that this Father’s Day you would honor your fathers, husbands, brothers and any men you know in this important role and bless them with your words of affirmation, your actions and your love for all they do. While you are doing this, don’t forget you also have a Heavenly Father who loves you and is right there with you.

I would like to make a special dedication to my father, David Jaffa Solomon, my husband, Daniel Wiedenhoff, and my Heavenly Father.

My father is now in heaven but I know I will see him again. I just want to say, “Dad, I salute you with all my heart and I’m so proud of you. Thank you for loving me, my family and my country. I love you and I will see you again!”

To my husband, Dan, “Thank you for being a wonderful father; for all that you do, your hard work, labor of love and commitment to taking care of your family, even when you are tired or don’t feel like it. No matter what, you still get up and go to work every day to provide for us. We love you, appreciate you, and thank you for all you do!”

To my God and Heavenly Father, “Thank You for sacrificing Your only Son to give us eternal life. Thank you for Your unconditional love that never fails, Your consistent caring for us, and for never leaving nor forsaking us. There is nothing in this world I could give You to express my gratitude for all You have done for us and are still doing, except to say my prayer is that we could show You our appreciation by living a life which honors You and glorifies Your name. Thank You so much and we love You!”

To all you fathers, “Happy Father’s Day!” May you be blessed this day with peace, love and many blessings. We honor you and we appreciate you for all you do!

Filoiann Wiedenhoff is a pastor’s wife, woman’s biblical counselor, bible teacher, writer and columnist. You can view her website on www.filoiannwiedenhoff.com and sign up for her monthly newsletter.

Beyond in-depth game reviews, for those of you with younger kids, you may just need suggestions regarding good games to keep them happy and busy. I categorize games by age and by platform, and there are printer friendly links to help you out.

It’s not a blog, but feel free to interact with me by email if a game you want to see reviewed isn’t on my site. Keep in mind that the kid list is new and still growing (and so is the rest of my site).

That’s the trouble… so many people with different opinions about what to do. Who do you to listen to, who do you believe, who do you trust? One thing that I have learned as a Christian is that I should listen to my wife. It’s a humbling experience, but most of the time, I would have been way ahead listening to Donna. When we got married we became one.
Of course we have two different personalities with different skills and tastes, different likes and dislikes… but we are still one as God has
made us one.

Have I always listened to my wife? Are you kidding? Of course not. Have I gotten into trouble by not listening to her? Of course I have. On the other hand, have I ever gotten off track by listening to her? I suppose that I have done that too… but the difference is that when I listen to her and act accordingly, we stand or we fall together… and I would rather fall with her than to stand alone.  Somewhere along the way, I had been told that God gives women a special sense to protect their husbands from making bad decisions in business, but that’s not always easy to accept.

I have been in network marketing for quite some time. My first adventure was with Destiny Telecom. I got involved right before it started to fall apart… but I was hooked. The idea of residual income made sense to me, but I had chosen the wrong vehicle… and I continued to make some poor choices. I would take a look at an opportunity, enroll as an independent associate, and then tell my wife. Her response was always the same "That’s what you said about the last opportunity!"

I started wondering why I couldn’t succeed and when I prayed about it, the Lord laid it on my heart that I had acted on my own without my wife’s council. If I didn’t have her support, how could I with a good conscious become successful? Yes, I know that there are successful people that don’t have their spouses support, but they don’t believe that they need it… but I do.

In February of 2007, a friend of mine asked me what I was doing in network marketing. I told him that I wasn’t actively promoting any business. So, he asked me to take a look at a business opportunity with Isagenix. At the time, I thought to myself "Not another health and wellness company", but what I said was "Sure, I’ll take a look." As far as knowing who to trust, this was a person that had previously built a business by sponsoring 9 people and ending up with a downline of over 80,000 associates with a nutritional company.

When I looked at the Isagenix website, I reviewed the key aspects of the business, and I couldn’t find anything that I didn’t like. The company wasn’t a start-up. The management was sound. The products were unique with proven studies and lots of testimonials. The compensation plan was easy to understand and very fair. The enrollment fee was less than $50. I wanted to go forward… so I prayed about it… and I knew that I must talk to Donna before I made a decision to proceed.

"Donna, how about taking a look at this website and tell me what you think. OK?" and she did. She focused on the nutritional cleansing products and and the weight loss testimonials. She had done a simple colon cleanse before, but not with any weight loss expectations… and I had never wanted to have anything to do with them. However, these products were very different.

The timing was right. Our daughter was getting married in four months and Donna wanted to look her best as the mother of the bride, so she asked me "Would you do this with me?"…and that’s how it all began.

There are lots of fun ways for kids to make money besides chores, babysitting, and lemonade stands.

    *   Scout out some good craft fairs where your young entrepreneur can sell crafty inventions or artwork and learn what it’s like to put out a product and attract customers. Maybe go to a few first to get some ideas, but this is where you can play to their interests! School craft fairs sometimes have discount tables for kids to sell their wares. Ideas for craft fairs include: jewelry and beaded knapsack critters, bookmarks, handmade cards, birdhouses, baked goods, decorated picture frames, juggling balls, sewn aprons, pot holders, or Christmas stockings.
      
      
    *   Pick events like local soccer games, baseball, or concerts in the park and have your kids sell goodies and treats not offered at the concession stand. You can buy yummy cookies, donuts, and brownies from Costco, or make up treat bags with dime-store candy. They can set up a stand, or go right to their customers for “door-to-door” service.
      
      
    *   Sign up for fun summer camps geared towards wannabe inventors.
      
      
    *   Look into activity kits, books or even classes to get your kids (and you if you’re not at all crafty) into putting their imagination to work and thinking outside the box. There are some resource books and web sites listed at the end of this article.
      
      
    *   Work with your kids to make a simple business plan. Show them how to list all the materials for their products, and the cost to make each item. Help them decide what to charge and how figure out their profit.
      
      
    *   Think about who needs a helping hand in your community and get your kids to start a volunteer project. Volunteerism is an admirable quality to encourage early on and can teach valuable business lessons. They can help out with seniors, disadvantaged kids or animals, plant trees, clean up litter, mow lawns or shovel snow. Ask your child what he or she thinks they can do to help someone, and then help them make it happen.
       

Online resources for young entrepreneurs include:

    *   www.teachingkidsbusiness.com
      
    *   www.showkidsthemoney.com

Books about kids making money:

* 101 Marvelous Money-Making Ideas For Kids , by Heather Wood

*  Fast Cash for Kids, by Bonnie Drew
 
*  The Young Entrepreneur’s Guide to Starting and Running a Business, by Steve Mariotti

 
About The Author:
Leanne Tremblay is a successful freelance technical writer and online publisher. She has written numerous articles on working from home, and in fact has been a work-at-home Mom for years! She has a special interest in technology for home-based businesses and runs a website on internet phone services you can use at home. Leanne writes articles on a wide variety of topics and can be contacted at info@learnabout.info to discuss free articles for your own web sites .

I don’t know about you but I worried from day one how to raise my child to be responsible, caring, yet creative, independent and able to think for herself in this world where conformity is the norm.


Three children later, I have found some keys steps to help build a deeper relationship with your child and to help your child develop the building blocks to be who they are meant to be.

You see good kids are not born, they are raised. What you do with them and how you shape your home, their learning environment, is key to their development.

1. Expect Manners.

While standing in line at McDonalds with my children the other day I had a sense of joy while looking down at my children, who were, and I quote, starving, according to them, yet they waited patiently for their turn to order. Next to us were 3 children about the same age. The older two were running circles around the mother who was not only frazzled but trying to control the younger child who was having a full blown temper tantrum on the floor. Believe me, my children are by no means angels. Like all children, they have their moments when they lack self control, don’t we all?

Yet, when we are in a social situation, the limits are stated as well as the consequences of their choices. My husband and I both expect our children to be polite, respectful to adults and to use their pleases and thank yous. High and consistent expectations create well mannered children and less stressed parents.

2. Model the behavior you want your children to display.

If you don’t model and explain why you do what you do, your children will look to society, their friends and TV for a model.

Children are like clay and need to be formed. You need to take the time to work with your children, to get to know them and to explain why you pray before a meal, why you don’t use swear words, even though your neighbors do, and why they need to earn the money they receive. Then be consistent with your behaviors.

Children who see their parents reading, become readers. Readers become leaders. Children who see their parents treating each other with respect, will in turn feel safe and will model respect and kindness with their siblings as well as their future spouses. Making an investment in your children from the beginning, the rewards will be great as they grow up!

3. Turn off the TV.

The only TV our children watch is Public Television programming right before our schooling.

While on a trip, we stayed at a hotel and after exploring, swimming and eating, we turned on the TV. I was shocked at the language being used, the assortment of programming available, and what was being offered. Call me a prude. You may have all ready. I want to be raising our children, not a time robber, mind numbing machine like the TV. Think about this, how often do you talk with your children when they are watching TV?

Read a book, work on a project together, do a puzzle, or do chores together. Turn off the TV and allow your children to think!

4. Look, listen and bend.

When you speak with your child ask them, do you need my eyes or my ears? My 5 year old will grab my face so I am looking at him when he needs to ask me a question.

My girls, 7 and 9, will often ask a question while I am making dinner and will let me know if they need my eyes, to have me look at them, or my ears, to keep working but to really listen and respond. Take the time to get eye to eye and nose to nose.

How do you feel when you are not being listened to?

I have found with my own children that they act up more when I am not taking the time to really listen with not only my body but also my mind. Take time to listen and really get to know your children when they are young so they will talk with you when the issues get more difficult as they get older.

5. Allow children to express their feelings within boundaries.

First of all, define your boundaries.

What do you do when you are angry, frustrated or happy? Children will model you. They are watching and following not only what you do but what you say and how you say it.

In our home, we build up. Tearing down is not allowed. When I get mad, and I do, I talk my way through it and share what I do to get my self through it.

You see, we all have choices. Children have choices as to how they react as well. If they only see our poor choice, that is what they will model. If you take the time to talk about positive ways to handle challenges and truly, laugh more, your children will do the same.

Allow positives, not negatives. Words like can’t, don’t, won’t and even boring are not allowed in our home. When water spills at the dinner table, we talk about what they need to do to fix it themselves.

When my cell phone gets dropped into the toilet, after breathing and counting to 10, we talk about what needs to be done now and next time.

I wish for you that you develop a philosophy of no problem is too big for us to handle- together, in your home as well.

6. Strong, Consistent, and Unified parenting is a must.

If you are married, work hard at your marriage. Show your love for each other by hugging, and when fighting, fight fair!

If you are a single parent, make sure you are positive about your ex-spouse and their family as well. As humans our first need is to feel safe and loved. If your home is full of turmoil, this is affecting your children.

As a married couple, put your relationship with your spouse before the children. Yes, that is right. When your children see that they are not the center of the household and that their parents love each other, they have the freedom to relax and be kids.

7. Allow your children to develop their gifts and talents not those you want them to have.

Your children may or may not enjoy what you enjoy or be good at what you used to be good at. You are truly their guide on the side, to provide opportunities and experiences so they can decide for themselves what they enjoy and what they are good at.

Each child, just like each adult, has a gift. Children are not our vessels to live out our dreams. Have fun watching your child become who they are designed to be, to live out their purpose on this earth.

Enjoy the process, enjoy your child for who they are, and expect only the best and enjoy the time of your life with the precious gifts with which you have been blessed!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kelly Wissink, has been building a successful business from home after leaving the teaching field.

She and her husband Curt, have 3 creative and fun loving children who are becoming budding entrepreneurs as well. Please visit their family business at http://www.SoyandBeyond.com .

*Need help with organization? Please help yourself to a free e-book by Kelly by sending a blank email to freee-book@aweber.com.

First, stop comparing yourself with others. They are not doing as well as they pretend. Many of the homeschool moms I have counseled were held up as examples for others… but they were struggling themselves! Few people want to be considered "whiners" so they put on a brave face and try to make the children behave in public. Sometimes it sends the message that things are always this good. They aren’t. We are taught to put a positive spin on the things in our lives, particularly the spiritual things, and so we tell positive things about our families. That’s fine, but it means that only one part of the truth is presented.

Comparisons are always hurtful, either to you or to others (and sometimes to both). I can guarantee that there is someone out there who wishes her family would be as good as yours. It is just the nature of the thing. You can always find something that will make you feel guilty and you can almost always find something to make yourself feel better than someone else. But don’t. It isn’t a game that you really win.

Some people get into homeschooling because of comparisons. They hope their children will "turn out as good as Susie’s". When they see other children sitting so orderly at the restaurant or at church and they hear how respectful those children are, these parents just know that homeschooling could do the same for their own kids. Not necessarily.

I have known kids who sat quietly at church only because of the intense fear of what would happen later if they wiggled. Is that what you want your children to think about in church? Other parents maintain very orderly lives themselves and that order is simply passed on to the children. I have known homes where the soup cans are arranged in alphabetical order on the shelves. It works for them… but not for most of us.

God has made us different from others. You can’t compare yourself with others because you don’t have the background they had or the perspective on life they have. I am not an engineer and I don’t think like most engineers. If I were to compare my way of handling money, for example, with that of some engineers I know, I could get discouraged. They always know where they stand and they always seem to have more and better things. But the truth is that most of the engineers I know make much more money than I do and still they log the miles driven each day by their children and budget everything religiously. This isn’t bad, of course, but it is different… and it makes comparisons almost impossible.

You don’t win the comparison game. Someone will always do something better than you. You will have to come to the understanding that your acceptance, especially with the Lord, is not founded on how well you do. His grace is given because of our need, not because of our strength or competence.

Love your children and don’t compare them to "Susie’s". Let them be who they are supposed to be. Follow the Lord and keep your focus on Him. You will find love and acceptance and encouragement in Him.

c David Orrison, PhD

(This is the first in a series of brief articles on homeschooling discouragement. Read the entire article and find more encouragement at www.gracefortheheart.org)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. David Orrison has been a homeschooling dad for nearly 25 years. He and his wife, Alice, have 8 sons. He has been a pastor for nearly 30 years and is now the director of Grace for the Heart, a ministry designed to proclaim the sufficiency of Jesus Christ in all areas of the Christian life.

Take some time to sit down and read the biblical Christmas story with your kids. Use this opportunity to share with them how our Lord gave of Himself to come to earth as a lowly babe in a manager. The wise men’s gifts to Jesus in this story are another picture of giving at Christmas.

In our family, we’ve often used this as a way to explain to our children why we give gifts to one another at Christmastime. We explain that just as the wise men gave precious gifts to Jesus to celebrate His birth, we give gifts to one another to remember His birthday. In all the excitement about presents and Santa, kids sometimes need a reminder of what Christmas is really about.

2. Let your children pick out gifts for each family member:

Allowing children to pick out the gifts they will give is a good way to get them excited about giving. It helps them to experience the joy of giving when their loved ones are opening gifts they picked out. If your child is old enough to receive an allowance or hold a job, you can deepen the experience for them by encouraging them to spend their own money.

Even very young children can begin to understand the meaning behind Christmas presents. The year our daughter was two, I took her to one of the dollar stores in town and allowed her to pick out items to give her father and grandparents. Christmas morning she was almost more excited about handing out the presents she was giving than she was about the gifts she was receiving.

3. Volunteer:

Giving is something that children can learn not only at home, but out in the community as well. Christmas is a good time to volunteer at a local homeless shelter, soup kitchen or church. Seeing others that are less fortunate and being able to reach out and help is a good lesson for kids to learn at any age.

4. Provide Christmas for a Needy Family :

Another way to show your children the joy of giving is to allow them to help you gather gifts, food and other necessities for a family in need. There are many ministries such as Angel Tree and Operation Christmas child that can help you connect with others that may not be able to afford Christmas presents. You can also check with your church to see if there are any local families that may have suffered a job loss or tragedy and need help this Christmas.

5. Collect non-perishables for local charities:

Some local charities rely on Christmastime donations to get them though the year. This is a great way to get the kids active and show them what giving is really all about. It is important for kids to understand that sometimes giving isn’t about expensive gifts; it’s about giving time and going out of their way for others.

The lesson of giving, when consistently taught, will last your child a lifetime. It’s a lesson that compounds annually as it touches countless lives and is a beautiful reflection of what God gave each of us so many years ago, the gift of His only Son.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Jill Hart is the founder of Christian Work at Home Moms, CWAHM.com. Hart is also the co-author of the upcoming book, Home Based Blessings, due out in early 2007 for Christian moms who want to work at home. Hart and her husband, Allen of CWAHD.com (Christian Work at Home Dads) reside in Nebraska with their two children.

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