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A Christian Comedy Essay By Rev. James L. Snyder

Now that the 100-year race for the Oval Office is completed… or so it seems… we can all get back to what we were doing prior to this event. The problem is, I cannot remember what I was doing before all of this nonsense began.

Oh, yes. I remember now. We were all complaining about how stupid our government leaders were and how the politicians were making a mess of things.

For those of you who think a presidential election changes all of this, I have some wonderful swampland that I can let you have at a good price. And if you can’t afford the price, there are some amazing bailout programs coming from Washington DC.

Every four years we go through the motions of electing a president thinking a new president brings a magical spell to our country called “change.” It is amazing that the more things change in Washington DC, the more they remain the same.
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A Christian Comedy Essay By Rev. James L. Snyder

I do not often get under the weather; after all, as tall as I am my head is usually in the clouds. At least, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage thinks this is the case. And who is to argue with her. But this time I was under the weather.

My head was stuffed and every other breath I took I had a sneezing fit. I felt miserable. I looked miserable. I know this because my wife said, “You looked miserable.” And, I was miserable.

Being in such a delicate condition, I had completely forgotten what time of the year it was. In fact, I did not even know what time of the day it was.

I vaguely remember my wife saying something to the effect that she was going somewhere and to be ready for something or other. In my condition, I could not have cared less. She could have taken a trip to the moon and I would not have cared. All I wanted was to be left alone to wallow in my ocean of misery.
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A Christian Comedy Essay By Rev. James L. Snyder

It was one of those weeks when I was not feeling up to par. Even though I do not play golf I felt a few strokes less than normal, and every little thing teed me off.

I just was feeling rather poorly and wandered around the house in a listless manner. It seemed like I had some kind of nervous jitters. I would sit for a few minutes and then get up and walk around and then I would sit again, all the while speaking incoherently.

It got so bad the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage noticed I was acting stranger than normal. She is an authority on the various levels of strangeness in our house, especially those associated with Yours Truly.

There is the normal level of strangeness of me just walking around with a goofy look on my face.

Then, there is the strangeness that pervades my person when I have done something wrong or have forgotten to do something I was emphatically told to do. This ranks a close second to the first one.
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A Christian Comedy Essay By Rev. James L. Snyder

Unwinding from a very busy day, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly, were trying to find something to watch on TV. Have you ever noticed when you do have some time and want to watch a little TV all they have are reruns? However, this night was a little different. The only thing showing were award programs.

It seems everybody has some kind of award program for everything and everybody.

Sighing deeply my wife said, “There’s never anything good to watch on TV anymore. Just these award programs.”

I sympathized with her, but what could I do?

“I think,” she said, “there ought to be some kind of Knucklehead award for all those knuckleheads out there.”

We laughed together. But when the laughter subsided, I got to thinking. Maybe there should be a National Knucklehead Award program. After all, there are award programs for everything else and there are no shortages of knuckleheads in our country.

Right off the bat, several categories came to mind.

The first category of Knuckleheads would have to be those national news reporters. After all, they put a lot of energy into becoming knuckleheads.

For example. During the last hurricane in Texas one TV news reporter did his entire two-hour program standing waist deep in water. Where are those alligators when you really need them? What kind of person stands waist deep in water while it is still raining and the hurricane is in full force? I’ll tell you what kind of person, a knucklehead. Plain and simple anybody who does not know enough to come in out of the rain when it is raining has to be a knucklehead.
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A Christian Comedy Essay By Rev. James L. Snyder

In our house, we have a saying. “A penny saved is a borderline miracle.” Like most people, we find it very difficult to save when it comes to money. We have in the dark recesses of our back bedroom closet a little piggy bank designated for emergencies.

Unfortunately, we have come to the point in our financial situation that our piggy bank needs to come out of the closet. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly had hoped this time would never come. It is rather embarrassing when something like this happens.

When we first put the Piggy Bank in the closet, it was supposed to be for some rainy day occasion. Or, to save up for a little vacation time. All throughout the years, we have talked about that little “nest egg” lying in the back of our bedroom closet. Oh, the plans we were hatching for that growing little pot of gold. It was comforting to know that it was there if we needed it.
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A Christian Comedy Essay By Rev. James L. Snyder

Occasionally the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly has one of those months where it is hard to squeeze the month into the money at hand. We often have more month left over then money. Why doesn’t somebody come up with a budget that can stretch with the month? Is that such a hard thing to ask for?

It was a late night but not one of those romantic nights with a candlelit dinner and soft music. Rather, the coffee pot was in full steam, not to mention our tempers.

The agenda for this late night fiesta was the end of the month bill-paying marathon. Paying bills in our house is a balancing act. On one hand, we have all the bills due and on the other hand a checkbook. As is often the case, the hand with the bills is heavier than the hand with the checkbook.

I must confess that our bookkeeping expertise is limited to, “Where did we put the checkbook?” Our basic financial philosophy is, when we run out of checks we must have run out of money. As long as we have one check left, our assumption is there must be money in the bank.
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A Christian Comedy Essay By Rev. James L. Snyder

I was moping around the house this past week a little more than usual. I was feeling really depressed and I really could not put my finger on the reason. Sure, it was the last of summer and fall has begun, but this happens every year so I had ruled this one out. Something was desperately wrong with me.

It was then that the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage stepped in with her diagnostic skills. She took a long look at me and said, “I know what’s wrong with you. You have PFS.”

I was shocked by her diagnosis and vehemently denied it and said to her, “That’s impossible. I’m not a woman.”
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A Christian Comedy Essay By Rev. James L. Snyder

I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a world-class traveler. Air travel is my least favorite mode of transportation but it sure beats walking.

Recently, I flew to Michigan to speak at a conference. I am not saying the airlines do not know what they are doing, they don’t, I am just not going to say it. My experience is that they regularly book the flights just a little bit too close to each other. I had to fly from Muskegon to Detroit in order to go to Orlando.

I arrived at the Muskegon airport early enough and everything seemed to go just fine. I inquired about the timetable and was assured everything was on schedule, despite the rainy weather condition.

We all were assembled to get onto the plane when we received word that the flight had been canceled due to weather. This little bit of news set up a real ruckus among my fellow travelers.
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A Christian Comedy Essay By Rev. James L. Snyder

Normally, I’m not a superstitious sort of a person. But then again there is a good case to be made that I am really not normal. If you stop to think about it, (and I have), the average person is a composite of everybody and the description ends up to be that of nobody. That is exactly what I think about being normal.

I must confess, I do have a sliver of superstition running through me somewhere. Often I have the feeling that someone is looking over my shoulder and smiling rather sarcastically. I cannot prove it, of course, but I know it is there.
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A Christian Humor Essay by Rev. James L. Snyder

Just when you think you have all of the idiots in the world organized and in their proper place, someone comes forth to challenge the number one position there might an epidemic of idiots in our world because there sure is a large amount and it seems to be growing every day.

They come in a variety of sizes and shapes and dispositions. There are political idiots, religious idiots, celebrity idiots and just plain downright stupid idiots. Of course, the stupid idiots have somehow crossbred with all the other idiots.

I am not exactly sure what category the person is that I am about to tell you about because he could fit into many categories. Recently a former senator from Nebraska (if you are from Nebraska you have my sympathy) announced that he was suing God. It really does not matter why he is doing God, I think it had something to do with terrorism in this world, but the fact that he is suing God for anything caught my attention.
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