My wife is absolutely repulsed by the thought of a “PBM” and refuses to try one-even though she eats peanut butter and pickles! Recently I was eating one of the tasty morsels of supple goodness when my son starting begging for a bite. He liked it so much that I ended up making him one of his own. I couldn’t help but laugh, not at the fact that my wife was dry heaving, but, rather because I came to know and love this treasure because my father used to eat them.

It got me thinking about the things that we pass on to our children. Not just looks, allergies, hairline cowlicks, and awesome sandwich preferences, but, spiritual strengths and weaknesses, too.

In the Bible, Abraham was deceitful when asked about who his wife was and his son Isaac did the same exact thing in telling a king that his wife was just his sister. Isaac had a son named Jacob who developed a shady reputation and lied to his face about being his brother Esau. Jacob’s sons lied to him and told him their brother was killed by an animal when they actually sold him as a slave. A little later King David had an affair with Bathsheba and the two eventually had a son named Solomon who became King and had a major weakness with women.

As a pastor I’ve watched as men who struggle with depression or self-esteem issues often have children who struggle with it as well. Those who are alcoholics pass on a much greater chance of their kids being alcoholics and those who struggle with pornography very often have children who confess to their youth pastors the same vice.

The fact is that we must learn to break the cycle as fathers and deal with our issues effectively and thoroughly. I believe Hebrews 12:1-2 gives us the best place to start, “let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ² looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith”

If we keep ourselves focused on and actively growing in our relationship with Jesus we will find ourselves able to shrug off the sins that plague us and possibly our children. I know this is a task that is easier said then done, and this article, although lengthy by Internet standards, cannot adequately help you slay your giants. However, if you are constantly struggling with something, run towards Jesus and seek help from a pastor or counselor or whoever you can find to help you through this. I know the words, “help me” are very rarely found in mans vernacular, but, I think our children are worth the step.

Happy Father’s Day to all you dads!

]]> http://cwahd.com/wordpress/2008/06/14/peanut-butter-pornography/feed/ http://cwahd.com/wordpress/2008/05/27/conquering-your-slides/ http://cwahd.com/wordpress/2008/05/27/conquering-your-slides/#comments Tue, 27 May 2008 05:08:49 +0000 GodlyDads http://cwahd.com/wordpress/?p=1262 By Nick Higgins

We had been there a few months earlier and Judah really enjoyed playing. They have the soft floor and the soft play equipment so kids can run around unhindered and crash into anything they want. There’s a slide that is kind of steep that Judah was too afraid to go down the last time without us holding his hand.

It was a great day overall. Except there was one mother who was one of “those” moms. You know the kind where they ask you a bunch of questions about your kid just so they could brag about theirs. Her kid might be potty trained already, but, my kids will have the distinct advantage of not having her as a mother!

Psycho competitive moms aside, I was really proud of him for conquering that slide. I know it’s a very small feat in the grand scheme of life but there’s just something about watching my son learn to overcome obstacles that makes me smile. He might not be the greatest athlete, or the smartest person in the world, but so long as he tries to overcome the things that give him trouble he’ll be more than successful.

About the Author: Nick Higgins is a husband, father, and pastor who also runs GodlyDads.com — a blog about being a Godly Father.

(This is what moms look like on the inside)

By Nick Higgins

I’ve realized something about women: during child birth when the fetus leaves the body something amazing and indescribable happens. Right about the time when the doctor tosses the slimy, still attached and bloody baby on the mother’s stomach like a proud fisherman tossing his catch into a boat to get a good look at it, something changes in a woman’s genetic makeup. Her DNA, like, transubstantiates its molecular structure into that of some sort of half-human, half-mutant-superhero chick. All of a sudden they know and can do everything!

“Honey, where’s the glue?”

“It’s in the coffee table drawer from two months ago when you tried to hide the fact that you broke the vase by unsuccessfully gluing it back together and eventually just buying one identical to it and replacing it.”

How did she know about that? I’m not kidding, they become like a Shaolin Monk, completely aware of everything in their surroundings.

“Drive around to the other side of the mall. Someone is leaving and a spot will be open in the front.”

“Yes, dear.”

One time I realized it had been a while since my wife and I had been out on a date. I love my and appreciate my wife so much! She takes such good care of our home! But, she’s always in Mommy-mode with our little boy and being pregnant with another one I noticed she could probably use a night out on the town. So being the hopeless romantic that I am I told her, “baby, get your dancing shoes on, we’re going out tonight…to Applebee’s…for half-priced appetizers…and we can’t afford a sitter.”

So, we went out with some friends and we were having a good time when suddenly our son, Judah, starts choking on a French fry. His little face started turning red and his eyes started watering. Being the man that I am, I sat there frozen in panic-it takes a little longer for the “dad changes” to take place. You know, the pot belly and receding hairline.- As calm as can be, my wife grabs him out of his seat and starts the whole “Aim him down and smack him on the back” trick. Not wanting to be rude, she is continuing to listen to the story that our friend wasn’t even sure if they should still be telling at this point and she is smiling and nodding in polite conversational etiquette.

Meanwhile, she realizes the French fry is not coming out and goes into “Manual Tracheal Obstruction Extraction Mode” and reaches her fingers down his throat and pulls the deep fried piece of potato out and casually sets it on a napkin. Literally as she does this the waitress, completely unaware of the near death experience we just evaded, and my freshly soiled pair of pants, strolls up and asks, “Is everyone doing okay? Can I get you anything?” As my wife nonchalantly returns our son to his high chair she asks for another Mango Lemonade and, like nothing ever happened, restarts the conversation by asking, “So, did you go with the 5 year ARM or the 30 year fixed?”

I’m telling you, mothers are not human! Happy mother’s day to all you moms out there.

About the Author: Nick Higgins is a husband, father, and pastor

The other day I had the privilege of holding my son during worship in our Sunday evening service at my church. I used to hold him regularly during worship at our former church, but, since moving to pastor our own church I have been leading most of it myself and wasn’t able to hold him. It was such a delight! At times he would lean his head into me so that his ear was up against my mouth. I’m not the most talented singer, but, my year and a half old son doesn’t care—he’s my biggest fan. At one point he began just singing gibberish trying to emulate the sounds his dad was making. Then, as I was lifting my hands I opened my eyes and saw him holding his arms up copying me. He had no clue what he or I was doing. But, he knew if dad was doing something it must be something worth doing.

I spent 5 years as a youth pastor and honestly the most frustrating thing for me was when spiritually retarded parents, whose own relationship with God were a half-hearted and emotionless Sunday experience, would drop their kids off and look at me like, “Here you go. Fix ‘em.” Out of the 168 hours that are in each week I only got to spend a couple of them with the students who spent much of that time being influenced at home.

The Bible says in 1 Kings 22:52 about King Ahaziah that “He did evil in the eyes of the LORD, because he walked in the ways of his father and mother…who caused Israel to sin. 53 He served and worshiped Baal and provoked the LORD, the God of Israel, to anger, just as his father had done.”

The reality is that our children will learn a lot about how or how not to serve God based on observing their parents. Obviously each person is accountable for their own choice and I have known many people who serve God despite ungodly upbringings and vice versa. But, as I held my son in my arms with his hands raised he taught me that I have already begun to teach him about being a Godly little man before his mind can even understand a single theological thought. Take advantage of your time and don’t forget that it’s never too late to start living a life of inspiration!

About the Author: Nick Higgins is a husband, father, and pastor